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** I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it. ** ** [|J. D. Salinger]  **



**In the beginning... ** In a hazy hell of mistrust and lies I begin to see what they see; life has no meaning. They lend me grief and I borrow, an exchange bereft of mercy. If only they could see what I saw, when the world was different, when the world was bright. I sought to sella world of pleasure, <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">Imagined! <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">From the pages of eternity <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">words flowed easily, <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">through me. <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">But eternity was their past, <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">words having buried them alive. <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">How can I say <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">when there is much to do? <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">And thoughts of such work <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">crawl along my shoulders <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">and sinks into my skin. <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">I begin to see their hell; <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">an extension of my own. <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">By: Kimberlee Haldane

This poem was written during my first months of teaching. I have kept it as a reminder of what I am fighting for. I never want to see or feel this way about teaching again.